my sweet Lord & Saviour: there is none like You. You are unmatched in every way imaginable. You are so holy and glorious; Your marvelous works are awe-inspiring and breath-taking. there are no words to match Your majesty. You are beyond comprehension. and with all that i am, i adore and praise You with my every breath. be my strength and courage to do what is right and honor You above all else; i do not want to do anything in life tha does not bring You glory. i pray that everything i do brings honor too You. Lord, make me a righteous woman after Your hear. i long to be more like You and less like me every passing day. You are my treasure and my everything. nothing can ever separate me from Your great love for me. God, i cannot even begin to describe how abundantly wonderful You are to me. oh, Jesus, teach me how to view others the way You see them and love them like You do. God, i need Your strength to do these things – my own strength simply will not suffice. Your grace for me is undeserved. may i be just as quick to reflect Your grace on others and not judge. Lord, i am called to love, not to judge. may i overcome my innate habit of judging that i may bring more glory to Your great name. Jesus, i need You. i need You always, but especially now. i need to feel You. i need to hear from You. i need You. i just need You. that’s all i need. Lord, why do i so often think You are simply not enough? YOU ARE! You are more than enough. Lord, i do not always understand, but give me the strength to trust You, my sovereign God & Saviour. love, your beloved.
the ultimate gift.
This Christmas has been more real than any other I’ve ever had. The older I get, the more emotional I become about things. My thoughts have been about Christ as a baby, and how He chose to come. He chose to come. In the form of a helpless, dependent baby. In a stable. To a teenage couple. Into a world that He knew would reject, judge, and mock Him. And crucify Him. He chose to leave Heaven, paradise, to come to earth. All for me. That absolutely overwhelms me. He chose to come knowing He would die for me and for you. That is undeniably, incomparably the best, most ultimate gift ever. I am in need of nothing when I think about that.
Merry Christmas!
“For today in the city of David there has been born for you, a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord!” Luke 2:11
life.
MMy life has been nothing short of crazy in this last month. here’s what’s been going on:
1. i had “that week” of school. you know. the one with all the tests, papers, and projects due simultaneously. that was crazy. but i made it out alive!
2. been celebrating birthdays like mad. we have like 8 family birthdays in october. it was fun though!
3. my dog Levi died on oct. 16th. it was really, really hard. i sobbed like a baby for hours. and cried for many days after. yes, i’m one of those people who talks to their dog and treats them like a person. he was really like my brother. we got him when i was like 7 or 8, and i don’t remember my life before him that much. so he’s been there for as long as i can remember. so that was really, really, really sad to me & my family. we’ve all been grieving.
4. i got a tattoo on the 17th. it’s awesome! go to facebook & see pictures! it says grace in greek. it’s awesome. saw revive/leeland that night too.
5. i voted on thursday. took me 15 minutes. it was exciting! i’m so stressing and freaking out over the election though. seriously. my hope is in Christ alone, no matter what happens, but i’m still scared…
answers.
Ok, so I was reading my prayer journal the other day and i found this entry from July 27th: “Jesus, my heart is so heavy right now and I don’t know why. I need You so badly right now. I need You to join me, meet with me, let me know You are here to stay. God, I feel so helpless lately. May You calm my restless heart and give me Your peace. You are my everlasting King and Father. May I always live for You alone. Jesus, I am crying out to You because I have no idea what is going on in my life and heart. God, give me an attitude of graciousness. May I never take Your grace and mercy for granted because it is radical, awesome, undeserved, unwaivering, unprecedented, unfailing, unending, glorious, amazing grace. May that thought never leave my mind and may it be etched on my heart and soul FOREVER. Lord, be my purpose and give me direction and a right spirit. I trust You whole-heartedly and I know that You will follow through in mighty ways. Lord, be my greatest desire, above anything else in this world. Give me desires from You and give me the confidence to trust You with them. Give me a heart of obedience. Give me patience to wait on You. I love You more than anything.”
and then what I wrote last night: “Lord Jesus Christ – my beautiful Saviour: how I love and adore You. My life looks different than I ever imagined, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My dependence on You has grown exponentially. My relationship with You has grown beautifully. I am learning to be broken and beautified by Your unending love and grace for me. I am learning that Your way and Your plan is so much greater for me than my own. And no matter what my situation, YOU are my joy and in Your presence I am completely satisfied. You are unlike anything on earth – glory, honor, and praise be to You for marvelous things! You are constantly blowing me away. Your grace and love for me has been evident daily in the most amazing ways. You are so alive in me I feel as if my heart will burst! You are so good to me – Your faithfulness and love never fail even when everything else does. You never leave me. You are always there. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Search me, O God, and change my heart to be in tune with Yours – I want nothing else. You bless me in incredible ways that I don’t deserve. I am Your beloved. You are teaching me and molding me. Continue Lord for I long to be a woman after Your heart, not of this world. Set me apart, for I am YOURS. I love You.”
amazing. just what i asked for.
He is faithful. and full of grace.
search me.
search me
know me
& show me
what i have done, what needs to change, what i can learn
and take me there, i’ll follow
cause Your mercies are new every morning
Your thoughts for me outnumber the sands
Your hands catch my tears when i’m crying
You guide me and hold me in Your hands
where can i go that You’re not with me?
where can i hide that You can’t see?
it’s Your love for me that i can’t fathom
it’s Your love, Your love for even me
and my heart burns for You
and my heart burns for You
and my heart burns for You
and my heart burns for You
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
Oh sweet Lord Jesus – You say to come and bring my burdens to You and You will carry them because You care for me. So here I am. All of me – my blemishes, my mess-ups, and all. I can’t even begin to express my need for You. You are life. Without You, there is no life to me. You are everything. You are beautiful. Lord, I have an unquenchable thirst for You and to know more about You. Learning more about You in every circumstance is one of my greatest goals in life. You are mysterious and complex, and You always leave me wanting more of You. Lord, I am so weary right now. I’m weary emotionally. I am coming emotionally undone. I am tired of feeling th way I feel – mundane, average. And Lord, I am growing weary of waiting. I know Your will is perfect and good. I trust You, I do. I know that You are sovereign and all-knowing, which allows me to trust You with my whole heart. I am tired of worrying, because it’s not up to me, but it’s up to You. You are my all-in-all. I just need you to be the Great Romance of my heart right now. I need to feel Your grace and trust reigning in my life. I want to be completely dependent on You for everything. You are so wonderful to me and I don’t deserve it. Your grace and mercy are proven everyday to be over and way beyond what I could ever come close to deserving. Still, You gave it all just for me. I need You. I can’t do anything apart from You. My heart beats for You and You alone. May You always be my only one, not my number one. May You receive all the glory, honor, and praise. Anything good in me is You. You are so mighty and awesome. I am constantly in awe of all You do and have done and will do. Lord, Your plans for me are great. I pray that You give me strength to do them in the best way that I can. I pray that You will constantly be molding and changing and growing me into the woman You want me to be. I don’t want to settle for anything less than that. Give me strength not to settle, but to be humble and open to waiting to hear from You, even when I don’t understand. I love You more than anything.
no guilt in life, no fear in death.
“so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without
fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like
stars in the universe” [[philippians 2:15]]
can’t sleep. this verse popped into my head and heart. it’s so challenging to us as children of God. we are called to be blameless [free from or not deserving blame or guilt] and pure [free from anything different; free from foreign or inappropriate elements; unmodified; without discordant quality; clean, spotless, unsoiled; untainted with evil] in this crooked [deformed; askew; not straightforward, dishonest] and depraved [corrupt, wicked, perverted, sinful] generation. and we are to shine [to give forth or glow light; to appear brightly; to reflect emitted light] like the stars in the nightly heavens. how awesome is that.
and the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
Lord Jesus – How I fail miserably everyday. I am so glad that You always hear me, and You are always faithful to me. Lord, I need You so much today. These last weeks have been so wearisome to me & have made me realize my need for You greater than ever before. You are my life’s dependency, my soul’s sufficiency. You are everything. You are Creator, Perfecter, Author, Provider, All-knowing, Father, Faithful One. You are my Saviour now and always under any circumstance. You are steady and unchanging, the same yesterday, today, and forever – always. You are Master, Care-giver, Pasture-maker, Ever-present, Abba, Mighty, Awesome God. You are gentle, kind, and patient, yet strong, just, and powerful. You are so amazing, God! I am overwhelmed at Your love for me. And I am so incredibly unworthy. Lord, give me a Christ-like attitude and mindset in all things, because I desire You above all else. Give me desires. Give me energy, strength, and patience. Give me purpose. Be my purpose. Lord, I have faith in everything You do. I have faith in Your timing. I am so overwhelmed sometimes by how seemingly boring and mundane my routine of a life is and how I feel useless and purposeless. Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed with my complete inadequacy, all I can do is rely on You. There is nothing You couldn’t do through me. Anything good in me is Christ, is You, Father. So, Abba, I surrender all to You. Everyday is a funeral to self and I am alive in You; a new creation majorly transformed by the love Jesus Christ showed to me on the cross. How beautiful You are, Christ my Saviour! May You forever be the Keeper of my heart, because I am prone to wander. May I always be a reflection of You to others. Thank You for everything. That seems so insufficient, but it’s all I have for You. I love You. Amen.
i can feel You all around me.
so, no one reads this, but i’m writing anyways.
coldplay’s new album is rocking my world this week! check out Viva La Vida pronto!!!
i have my uncle, aunt, and 4 kids coming into town today AS WELL AS my cousin, her husband, her 4 year old, and her mom (my great aunt). so yeah. wow. lots of family this coming week – i’m so stinkin excited!!!
i absolutely cannot wait to go on vacation. it could not come soon enough to me. i am in a desperate need for a break from life. seriously.
God’s teaching me so much it’s ridiculous, but i don’t have time to write about it. my post-camp experience has been…frustrating for me to say the least. the Lord did absolutely AMAZING things beyond what i can comprehend. and i have a constant craving for people to be around me who know exactly what i am talking about. i don’t know…it was the BEST camp i have ever been to as a student or a leader. yeah.
also, check out my friends the Morgans [Andrew, Emily, and the adorable Cole] and the Deuels [Matt, Erica, and the cutie Caleb] at Broken Voices – they are on an INCREDIBLE journey, and you should be a part of their story! they’re in the business of AWAKENING a generation who longs and yearns for God.
proverbs 21:21 – whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, & honor.
houseboat.
so i just got back from houseboat, which was this year’s high school summer camp location at dale hallow lake! woohoo! it’s SO SO beautiful there. and it’s cool, cause we live on boats and worship outside under the stars every night. i got to co-lead a group of 11 girls with my best friend, megan faulk! and the Lord did some AMAZING things in my life, meg’s life, the girls’ lives, and every other person’s life there. He truly did. and it was awesome. i seriously am in awe of all He has done in my life over the past week. i am changed. and it’s so freeing. basically, we spent 3 hours a day in our small groups (our boats) and then we had free time, dinner, then a night meeting with worship & teaching. it was exhausting, but so much fun and so de-toxing. no internet. no phone. no music (other than worship). no tv. no contact with the outside world. and it ROCKED my world. just me, a boat, the water, nature, and God. and all the other people. such community was formed. i am so humbled.
this weeks theme was ROOTS. basically, in a nutshell, it was talking about bad “fruits” or sin and the root of why we struggle with the things we struggle with. the first three days were EXTREMELY emotional. and the rest of the week was talking about finding freedom in the grace that God gives us no matter what those fruits & roots are. words do not even do this subject justice, really. the Lord was working in a way that i had only experienced a few times before. and it was, literally, AWEsome. it was so much fun, too. we got to hang out, swim, hike, go boating/tubing (my personal FAVE), and just be together. it was such a blast! and my boat freaking rocked! we had the best boat. i love this retreat because it forces you to be together all the time. we cook together. clean together. sing together. sleep together. hang out together. bathe together (in the lake). shave together. everything together. awesome. we also had a baptism ceremony on the last day, and of course a night of sharing, and the things that God did in the lives of these high schoolers as well as leaders was amazing. i am just on a high, but i seriously think it will last. i don’t know how it couldn’t.
the “theme” song of the week that we sang every single night we were there was “beautiful the blood” by steve fee. and it’s a freedom song, proclaimed true in our lives this week from now and forevermore.
I never knew
Death could be so sweet
I never knew
Surrender could feel so free
I never seen
Such meekness in majesty
That the blood of Jesus
Was bled for me
And now I sing
Freedom for all my days
It’s only by
The power of the cross
I’m raised
The King of Glory
Rescued me
How beautiful the blood flow
How merciful the love show
The King glory poured out
Victorious, I’m weeping
Never knew through these nails
Would love unfold
And never knew these wounds
Would heal my soul
I’ve never seen
Such beauty and sorrow meet
The blood of Jesus
Was bled for me
And now I sing
Freedom for all my days
It’s only by
The power of the cross
I’m raised
The King of Glory
Rescued me
[Repeat Chorus]
Now I’ll sing
Freedom for all my days
It’s only by
The power of the cross
I’m raised
The King of Glory
Rescued me
[Repeat Chorus]
How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior
How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior
i love you guys – rachface
