so, i’m re-reading “life as a vapor” by john piper. and it’s most excellent. go read it.
prayer from the book:
“Gracious Father of Light, give us eyes to see Your worth. Heal our blindness. Save us from the deadly disease of seeing the world as worth more than its Maker. Restore the capacity of our hearts to cherish infinite beauty and savor infinite sweetness. Deliver us from the deadening effects of thinking this short life is the main thing. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.”
so, lately, my heart has been learning a lot, actually.
this is going to sound strange…but i’ll make myself vulnerable and say it anyways.
i really learned something spiritual at the keith urban and carrie underwood concert last week. i don’t know. i just love both of those artists for their music, yes, but now for this lesson i have learned.
most often times, music expresses exactly what i’m thinking or feeling at a given moment. so at the concert, carrie was singing “so small” which i have heard thousands of times, but something hit me; the line “what you’ve been searching for forever was right there in your hands”. and i just in that moment realized, as i was singing along with thousands of people, that i do that SO often with my relationship with Christ. it seems that sometimes He is the last one i resort to when something is happening…and He should be the first. so, no shocker, i show up to church service today and it’s about the passage of the feeding of the 5,000 today…and they are talking about how Jesus satisfies every possible need you could ever have.
amazing. He is amazing.
watch this — it’s my heart.
“If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we’ll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner.”
-Beth Moore
in my life right now, i know God is working in mighty yet subtle ways. i guess you could say i’ve been in a “dry” season in my relationship with Him these days. i know that He is doing something amazing, but i feel like my life is worthless and that i am not accomplishing anything in this season i am in, which is really discouraging to me. i often find myself wondering what my life means, who i am influencing, my purpose, who i am. i feel like i have no direction lately. which is scary. but i am learning to trust. and i am learning that my life is not my own. and that He is in control of whatever happens in my life. but i am finding that it is an interesting balance of “letting go and letting God” and actually striving my best, doing everything for His glory. it’s been weird. and i’m being vulnerable and weird saying that i have no idea what my life is shaping up to look like or who i am shaping up to be. i simply know that i am completely His, loved by Him, under His guidance and grace, and redeemed by Him. i know that His will won’t lead me where His grace can’t cover me. even though i have been having these thoughts, i have never felt more like living for something greater than myself, something bigger than the here and now. i am living for something much more than that. and it’s exciting, and it’s scary.
my dear friend krissy leigh recently wrote a note about the charlie hall song “we are yours” and i so echo everything that song has to say in my life right now.
We are Yours,
We are Yours,
We are Yours,
We are Yours, We are Yours, We are Yours
We are Your sons and daughters
You are our holy Father
All our fountains are in You, Jesus
We open wide our mouths and You fill us
We are a generation
Touched by Your salvation
Made by You and for Your glory
You’ve marked us here to alter history
so, this weekend was life-changing. for me. and my best friend.
my best friend megan erika kimbrel married tyson james faulk.
the Lord has taught me so much through watching both of them…from the beginning of this beautiful love story. their love for one another is such a reflection of God’s love and passion for us individually and their marriage is a testimony of His great faithfulness to us.
megan and i have grown up together since we were little…and i know her heart’s desires. her greatest desire in life is to live completely for Jesus in every single aspect of her life, and she strives to do her best in everything to give Him all the glory. megan has the most beautiful heart of anyone i have ever met, and she is truly my dearest friend. she is beautiful from the inside out… and it has been so encouraging to watch how her desire and thirst for her Saviour has allowed her to completely trust Him in all things, including the man she would marry. watching this come true for her has been such a blessing. and all along the way she and ty have desired and placed Christ at the center of their relationship – the way He designed it. the way that megan and ty love each other is such a beautiful replication of the way that Christ loves and forgives His church. they truly see each other the way that Christ sees them; healed by His grace and redeemed from the past. He is greatly pleased. and i am so blessed to be a part of this.
not only am i happy for her as her best friend, but i have a renewed sense of faith. until then, i wait.
