Ok, so I was reading my prayer journal the other day and i found this entry from July 27th: “Jesus, my heart is so heavy right now and I don’t know why. I need You so badly right now. I need You to join me, meet with me, let me know You are here to stay. God, I feel so helpless lately. May You calm my restless heart and give me Your peace. You are my everlasting King and Father. May I always live for You alone. Jesus, I am crying out to You because I have no idea what is going on in my life and heart. God, give me an attitude of graciousness. May I never take Your grace and mercy for granted because it is radical, awesome, undeserved, unwaivering, unprecedented, unfailing, unending, glorious, amazing grace. May that thought never leave my mind and may it be etched on my heart and soul FOREVER. Lord, be my purpose and give me direction and a right spirit. I trust You whole-heartedly and I know that You will follow through in mighty ways. Lord, be my greatest desire, above anything else in this world. Give me desires from You and give me the confidence to trust You with them. Give me a heart of obedience. Give me patience to wait on You. I love You more than anything.”
and then what I wrote last night: “Lord Jesus Christ – my beautiful Saviour: how I love and adore You. My life looks different than I ever imagined, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My dependence on You has grown exponentially. My relationship with You has grown beautifully. I am learning to be broken and beautified by Your unending love and grace for me. I am learning that Your way and Your plan is so much greater for me than my own. And no matter what my situation, YOU are my joy and in Your presence I am completely satisfied. You are unlike anything on earth – glory, honor, and praise be to You for marvelous things! You are constantly blowing me away. Your grace and love for me has been evident daily in the most amazing ways. You are so alive in me I feel as if my heart will burst! You are so good to me – Your faithfulness and love never fail even when everything else does. You never leave me. You are always there. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Search me, O God, and change my heart to be in tune with Yours – I want nothing else. You bless me in incredible ways that I don’t deserve. I am Your beloved. You are teaching me and molding me. Continue Lord for I long to be a woman after Your heart, not of this world. Set me apart, for I am YOURS. I love You.”
amazing. just what i asked for.
He is faithful. and full of grace.
