rachael.lee

search me
know me
& show me
what i have done, what needs to change, what i can learn
and take me there, i’ll follow

cause Your mercies are new every morning
Your thoughts for me outnumber the sands
Your hands catch my tears when i’m crying
You guide me and hold me in Your hands

where can i go that You’re not with me?
where can i hide that You can’t see?
it’s Your love for me that i can’t fathom
it’s Your love, Your love for even me

and my heart burns for You
and my heart burns for You
and my heart burns for You
and my heart burns for You

Oh sweet Lord Jesus – You say to come and bring my burdens to You and You will carry them because You care for me. So here I am. All of me – my blemishes, my mess-ups, and all. I can’t even begin to express my need for You. You are life. Without You, there is no life to me. You are everything. You are beautiful. Lord, I have an unquenchable thirst for You and to know more about You. Learning more about You in every circumstance is one of my greatest goals in life. You are mysterious and complex, and You always leave me wanting more of You. Lord, I am so weary right now. I’m weary emotionally. I am coming emotionally undone. I am tired of feeling th way I feel – mundane, average. And Lord, I am growing weary of waiting. I know Your will is perfect and good. I trust You, I do. I know that You are sovereign and all-knowing, which allows me to trust You with my whole heart. I am tired of worrying, because it’s not up to me, but it’s up to You. You are my all-in-all. I just need you to be the Great Romance of my heart right now. I need to feel Your grace and trust reigning in my life. I want to be completely dependent on You for everything. You are so wonderful to me and I don’t deserve it. Your grace and mercy are proven everyday to be over and way beyond what I could ever come close to deserving. Still, You gave it all just for me. I need You. I can’t do anything apart from You. My heart beats for You and You alone. May You always be my only one, not my number one. May You receive all the glory, honor, and praise. Anything good in me is You. You are so mighty and awesome. I am constantly in awe of all You do and have done and will do. Lord, Your plans for me are great. I pray that You give me strength to do them in the best way that I can. I pray that You will constantly be molding and changing and growing me into the woman You want me to be. I don’t want to settle for anything less than that. Give me strength not to settle, but to be humble and open to waiting to hear from You, even when I don’t understand. I love You more than anything.

Lord Jesus – How I fail miserably everyday. I am so glad that You always hear me, and You are always faithful to me. Lord, I need You so much today. These last weeks have been so wearisome to me & have made me realize my need for You greater than ever before. You are my life’s dependency, my soul’s sufficiency. You are everything. You are Creator, Perfecter, Author, Provider, All-knowing, Father, Faithful One. You are my Saviour now and always under any circumstance. You are steady and unchanging, the same yesterday, today, and forever – always. You are Master, Care-giver, Pasture-maker, Ever-present, Abba, Mighty, Awesome God. You are gentle, kind, and patient, yet strong, just, and powerful. You are so amazing, God! I am overwhelmed at Your love for me. And I am so incredibly unworthy. Lord, give me a Christ-like attitude and mindset in all things, because I desire You above all else. Give me desires. Give me energy, strength, and patience. Give me purpose. Be my purpose. Lord, I have faith in everything You do. I have faith in Your timing. I am so overwhelmed sometimes by how seemingly boring and mundane my routine of a life is and how I feel useless and purposeless. Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed with my complete inadequacy, all I can do is rely on You. There is nothing You couldn’t do through me. Anything good in me is Christ, is You, Father. So, Abba, I surrender all to You. Everyday is a funeral to self and I am alive in You; a new creation majorly transformed by the love Jesus Christ showed to me on the cross. How beautiful You are, Christ my Saviour! May You forever be the Keeper of my heart, because I am prone to wander. May I always be a reflection of You to others. Thank You for everything. That seems so insufficient, but it’s all I have for You. I love You. Amen.

so i just got back from houseboat, which was this year’s high school summer camp location at dale hallow lake! woohoo! it’s SO SO beautiful there. and it’s cool, cause we live on boats and worship outside under the stars every night. i got to co-lead a group of 11 girls with my best friend, megan faulk! and the Lord did some AMAZING things in my life, meg’s life, the girls’ lives, and every other person’s life there. He truly did. and it was awesome. i seriously am in awe of all He has done in my life over the past week. i am changed. and it’s so freeing. basically, we spent 3 hours a day in our small groups (our boats) and then we had free time, dinner, then a night meeting with worship & teaching. it was exhausting, but so much fun and so de-toxing. no internet. no phone. no music (other than worship). no tv. no contact with the outside world. and it ROCKED my world. just me, a boat, the water, nature, and God. and all the other people. such community was formed. i am so humbled.

this weeks theme was ROOTS. basically, in a nutshell, it was talking about bad “fruits” or sin and the root of why we struggle with the things we struggle with. the first three days were EXTREMELY emotional. and the rest of the week was talking about finding freedom in the grace that God gives us no matter what those fruits & roots are. words do not even do this subject justice, really. the Lord was working in a way that i had only experienced a few times before. and it was, literally, AWEsome. it was so much fun, too. we got to hang out, swim, hike, go boating/tubing (my personal FAVE), and just be together. it was such a blast! and my boat freaking rocked! we had the best boat. i love this retreat because it forces you to be together all the time. we cook together. clean together. sing together. sleep together. hang out together. bathe together (in the lake). shave together. everything together. awesome. we also had a baptism ceremony on the last day, and of course a night of sharing, and the things that God did in the lives of these high schoolers as well as leaders was amazing. i am just on a high, but i seriously think it will last. i don’t know how it couldn’t.

the “theme” song of the week that we sang every single night we were there was “beautiful the blood” by steve fee. and it’s a freedom song, proclaimed true in our lives this week from now and forevermore.

I never knew
Death could be so sweet
I never knew
Surrender could feel so free
I never seen
Such meekness in majesty
That the blood of Jesus
Was bled for me

And now I sing
Freedom for all my days
It’s only by
The power of the cross
I’m raised
The King of Glory
Rescued me

How beautiful the blood flow
How merciful the love show
The King glory poured out
Victorious, I’m weeping

Never knew through these nails
Would love unfold
And never knew these wounds
Would heal my soul
I’ve never seen
Such beauty and sorrow meet
The blood of Jesus
Was bled for me

And now I sing
Freedom for all my days
It’s only by
The power of the cross
I’m raised
The King of Glory
Rescued me

[Repeat Chorus]

Now I’ll sing
Freedom for all my days
It’s only by
The power of the cross
I’m raised
The King of Glory
Rescued me

[Repeat Chorus]

How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior
How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior

i love you guys – rachface

i was so majorly encouraged tonight. i went to sr. high [the high school dept at my church] because it was senior celebration night AND freshmen move-up night, and since i have both, i went. and it was a huge celebration of what God has done, is doing, and will do through the youth ministry. i just finished my 5th year of leading a small group of young girls. and it’s so amazing to me. it’s hard, don’t get me wrong, but it’s such an honor and a privilege.

it was also an INCREDIBLE time of worship. michael flowe [he's played in Holiday Parade - check them out] lead worship just like he used to when i was in HS. it was so stinkin amazing. it’s been a while since i’ve really felt like i was free, so to speak, in worship. and i was tonight. totally uninhibited in my worship. and it was so refreshing and encouraging to my heart. i wish i could do it more, it justs seems like those times get fewer and farther between as i get older. i don’t know. it’s strange to me. and i have been really, really discouraged lately, but tonight, none of that mattered. it was just me and God and He met me in a room with hundreds of other celebrating people. and it was refreshingly awesome. He rocks.